The Demonic Child
I was recently walking in a public area…
Scene: A young boy is dancing, expressing himself.
Dad: "What is he doing?"
Older sister: "Ugh, I don't know."
Dad: "Get him to stop, right now."
I used to get yelled at. A lot. Sure, I used to do dumb things. I used to be loud. I used to speak out of turn. I used to run rampant. I'm sure I was annoying. I'm sure I drove those around me crazy. And I'm sure my parents didn't know what to do with me.
I didn't know any better. I was an uncontrollable, overstimulated, hyperactive child with no stop button.
Hell, I didn't know any better at the time.
I was also the fifth-born. My parents didn't know any better either. They didn't know how to deal with a hyperactive, bouncing-off-the-walls, uncontrollable child who would outburst at any moment.
The tough task of grooming me was often left to my siblings.
I did have quite the outbursts. The stories I heard growing up often described me as having "the devil" inside me. I was just too difficult to control.
Recently, I was watching an interview with Joseph Campbell, where he spoke about an old Native story in which healers were called to help young boys who had fallen ill.
The medicine men, as they were referred to, would try to heal the boys through ceremonies and rituals that focused on restoring balance, harmony, and health to the individual who was ill. This was typically achieved through purification, spiritual connection, and the restoration of the individual's well-being, rather than trying to remove or banish any particular deities or spirits.
Instead of trying to rid ourselves of the things that 'curse' us, we must adapt ourselves to them.
Due to the ‘demons’ I was convinced I had, I thought I was truly messed up in the head. My best way to manage was to try to rid myself of what plagued me by shying away from who I was.
The essence of healing with that approach is trying to cleanse oneself of our present nature. That only leads to a life full of resistance, avoidance, and deflection.
And it's a losing battle.
What I found profound about Campbell's story regarding the Lakota tribe's healing process was the restoration of balance and well-being in the individual's life as it is. Rather than seeking to remove deities or spirits, their rituals aimed to establish a positive and harmonious relationship with the spiritual forces.
"Be careful lest, in casting out your demon, you exorcise the best thing in you." - Nietzsche
I learned in July 2020 that I have ADHD. In hindsight, that does explain a lot of my 'demonic' nature that I and others close to me had to deal with.
But it wasn't about trying to rid myself of who I was that was the answer. Trust me, I tried to mask myself from that person for a very long time.
It was in accepting that person and trying to work with him that I can cope and understand.
Too often, we see disciplinary and forceful actions taken to correct a child's behavior.
That will only push us away from who we are.
It's a shame that with enough corrections from authority figures, the young boy may stop dancing as a form of expression.